if god is real a plate of soft pretzel bites and cheese will appear next to me within the next 30 seconds cmon god im counting on u this time
10 seconds left
guess whos an atheist
(Source: mensrightsactivist, via cheesecakemaster)
my dad asked if he could check something on my computer
and i said ‘if u can dig it’
he didnt know what i meant until he opened it up and saw
he didnt even bother looking up what he was going to he just said ‘no’ softly and walked away and now i dont even think hes in the house anymore
(Source: zachrie, via eyesonanewprize)
6399.) On halloween I showed up wearing a poncho, they took it off and threw in the toilet. Dem bitches never gave it back.
(Source: yourconfessions)
If you don’t know that feeling of absolute power you get after saying the word “peasant” then ur a peasant.
(Source: samandriel, via timelordofthe-rings)
what if u looked under your bed and randy jackson was just lying down there grinning like
(Source: wispagold, via joffreys-hooker)
