sex is a ~sensation~ caused by a tEmPtAtIoN when a guy sticks his l-o-c-a-t-i-o-n in a girls **destination** to increase the population for the next generati0n…u get my —explanation— or need a demonstration?!?!
ok, new theory. maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us
well maybe we would sound so bad if some people didn’t try to play with big meaty claws
what did you say, punk?
bIG
MEATY
CLAWS
WELL THESE CLAWS AIN’T JUST FOR ATTRACTING MATES
BRING IT ON OLD MAN, BRING IT ON
no people let’s be smart and bring it OFF
OH SO NOW THE TALKING CHEESE IS GONNA PREACH TO US
(Source: rustlecrowe, via speak-inq)
I am really bothered by the fact that basically the only reason why gay marriage is illegal is because some people think it’s disgusting. You know, I think peas are disgusting but we’re noT MAKING THAT ILLEGAL ARE WE
what’s wrong with you, peas are delicious
gay people are delicious too.
no dessert for you until you eat all your gays
(Source: livingsjustawasteofdeath, via oraclelessiah)
im never gonna get married and im gonna sleep with ten billion people
THAT’S 4 BILLION MORE PEOPLE THAN THERE ARE ON THE PLANET
not if you include the dead
(via toodopetoexist)
am i the only one thats literally obsessed with food like if my mom tells me we’re getting subway tomorrow i will lay in bed and think omfg im getting subway tomorrow and then i’ll wake up and be like yay subway today i have somethign to live for
(via heathermorris)
